Well, it's late. I'm used to having my biological time/clock all screwed up, but it's usually either by choice, or by jetlag. Not this time.

Since my dad died, I had been concerned about going to sleep. You see, vivid dreams have been a part of my life for a long time. And I was afraid of what might happen in my dreams. Not just in the dreams, but in the waking after. I guess I had heard too many horrible stories about seeing the departed in dreams and momentarily forgetting they were dead. And then the rememberance is like watching them die a second time.

Well, last night I had that dream. At some point during a conversation with my Dad in the dream, I remembered that he was dead. And hence, that I was dreaming. And I just went to pieces, in a far more brutal way than I had in the waking world. Then, as if someone threw a switch, it was over, and I was calm. Either that, or I've blacked out the rest of the histrionics. Either way, I didn't get up out of bed until about 13:30 today. Very unusual for me.

So now I'm sitting here, still getting over the flu, and wondering what it will be like to dream tonight.
posted by Manchild at 1:21 AM