Wow, has it really been that long?

I guess so. So this isn't going to be a blog entry in the usual sense. More like an open letter to no-one in particular. At the moment, I've been awake about 20 hours, and intend to go stream of conciousness through this, with apologies to any misspellings that may happen along the way.

So, first thing first, I guess, is that I have tried to blog a few times but Blogger has been acting like a whore-bitch for me: Going down on me frequently but giving me no pleasure what-so-ever.

Since I last entered the fray, I've started work at a new place. I was hired to do training on an RF system, which is a Radio Frequency ID system used in stock control and all that sort of thing. That would be an easy, if boring, job, since an RF system takes about an hour or two at most to get to grips with. So that didn't really last long as my assigned "job". Instead, I've moved onto driving fork-lifts.

That's a total departure for me, having spent most of my working life in a position where I'm using my mental faculties. Hell, I don't even drive a car. (Never learned, never had any interest in learning.) But I have to say, I'm enjoying the hell out of it. You know how much fun it was as a kid to drive bumper-cars, or dodgems at a fairground? Well, it's like that, only the trucks weigh seven tonnes, and can kill people if you're not careful. Spiffing good fun. Kind of like flying planes.

Since I'm working Night Shifts, which is good and bad. I have a large degree of freedom in the place, but it messess up my social life, sleeping habits, eating habits and so on. The team I work with though have an interesting and vibrant social dynamic, which is good.

The money is shit, of course, but since I'm not in it for the money, I can take it easy and not get stressed.

The people I'm working with are mostly younger than myself, and it's unusual for me not to be in a position of authority. But I'm getting to know them all pretty well in a way that I couldn't do if I was a supervisor or something.

Take P for example. Originally from Bangledesh, he's the only one older than me in the job. He's a fantastic bloke, who has led a fascinating life. When his country was overrun he became part of the resistance, and fought for his countries freedom. He's seen friends go through horrific things, and yet he is such a kind and gentle and funny guy to work with.

J is one of the funniest guys I've ever met, and on lunchbreaks he usually has the group in fits of laughter as he describes in detail some of the women he's found himself with. Typical J comment : "She did this (raises arm) and I thought she had Don King in a headlock."

Then there's Bob. Bob, is from America. And he typifies virtually everything that is loathesome in a human being. Racist, miserly, dishonest, arrogant, intolerant, cruel, constantly angry, borderline violent and as paranoid as the day is long.

Bob goes through life thinking everyone is out to get him. Everyone has an agenda, and everyone has on that agenda "Fuck Bob over, if at all possible." In many ways, he is his own worst enemy. In just a few weeks, he's managed to alienate almost everyone in the job, with his attitude and comments, and thus he has become the hated American he claimed he was in the beginning.

Naturally, to be obtuse, I'm trying my best to get on with the guy, even if he is a rabid Bush supporter. He's sort of my project. If I can get him to take a more tolerant, less hostile view of life, maybe he won't drop dead of a stress related coronary in a year or two. If I could only get him to stop referring to the 3 Nigerian workers as "Those three".

Mmm... just slugging back some more Bacardi and Coke. I've gone about half a bottle of Bacardi so far since I got in this morning, and I'm still feeling the cold. Normally, cold doesn't affect me much (t-shirt wearer sub-zero temperatures, that's me) while any sort of heat makes me pass out and burn like a side of bacon. But it is fucking freezing right now.

Since I got in this morning, and pretty much caught up on the news, I made a few phone calls, and browsed some. One of the sites I checked up on was Drone's Blog.

I had noticed his account being used on the BuffyBB, but was unsure if someone just had the keys to the admin account or if the bald shaky-headded one was actually back in some form. Since I only recently found the HazzardX site it's not one I'd read extensively. Unlike Puck, Holz, Mike and Wil.

Reading Drones' site this morning, I found a few things. One, that it IS him back on the site in an Admin context. And second, that there was some reason he chose to distance himself from the BB in the first place. Some disquieting things about mods and cliques and online stuff was hinted at. Something I'll no doubt mull over, as it's something I can sympathise with to an extent. I know one of the main reasons I took a break from it was because it stopped being "fun", and life is too short to put yourself through needless thankless shit when there's better things to be doing.

Speaking on "fun" things, I had a fun "first" a few weeks ago. Skip this paragraph if you don't fancy some disgusting details. It can be summed up in two words : Colonic Hydrotherapy. Now, not having been around in the pre-Victorian age, I am still part of a generation that treats the arse as something dirty and unpleasant. Nice to look at on the female form (or male, whatever your preference) but not something people generally discuss in polite conversation. Well, a show I saw piqued my interest in this particular new-age health practice. Apparently, it's a "unique" sensation. And having so-far avoided 'pegging' but precious little else, I thought the days of wonderful new experiences were behind me. I had to give this a go, and see if it was all it was cracked up to be. (Pardon the pun.) So I looked around, travelled a couple of hundred miles and spent no small amount of money. Having undergone the procedure, I can say the following :
1) I will definitely go again.
2) It was almost (but not exactly) unlike anything I'd experienced before.
3) The colon can hold a LOT of water.

Since I mention health topics, and firsts, I should probably point out that I was in hospital myself recently. Stupidly, I had failed to renew my health insurance while between jobs, and so I will be fronting this bill myself.

I had only been saying a few days before about how lucky I was, that I had never had an operation, never broke a bone, never even had my tonsils or appendix out. The universe hates a smug bastard. I was sitting down to breakfast, and eating away, when I thought {twinge} that doesn't feel right. {twinge} I don't think I can finish this. {twinge} I might have to take the day/night off of work. {twinge} Call an ambulance.

Really, in the space of a few minutes, I had gone from sleepy breakfast eating to agony. My abdomen was tender on the right side, and I felt like my insides were burning. I struggled up to the PC while waiting for an ambulance and googled for the symptoms of appendicitis. It gave 6. I had two. By the time I got to the hospital (well, a little after) I'd added another two symptoms to the list. (Vomiting and diorrhea. Don't ask.) The pain was worse than anything I'd had to date, including smashing an ingrown toe-nail, knee-capping myself with a piece of sheet-metal, and being knocked down by a motor-bike. But in the A&E, I was getting no-where. No treatment, no drugs, no nothing. (No insurance, you see. :) ) So, I hit on an idea which was underhanded, and sly and deceitful. During one of my frequent trips to the bathroom to get sick, I lay down on the floor, tried to get comfortable, closed my eyes, and lay still.

About 10 minutes went by. Thank God I wasn't having a heart attack or something, or I'd be dead. But eventually, some poor bastard came in, saw me, and ran out shouting for a doctor. Well, in next to no time, I was surrounded by three or four people trying to "bring me round" and when I groggily "regained conciousness", I was put in a wheelchair and whipped straight through, skipping a bunch of people in the queue as it were.

I don't know what painkillers they gave me (injected into my butt-cheek as it happens) but in seconds, I was pain-free and looking at the flowers on the wall, watching them sway in the breeze. High as a friggin kite, and totally out of my gourd.

My sister came to see me later on, and brought me a red-head, instead of grapes. Which was nice and different. Guess she'd heard about the Florence Nightingale effect and wanted to see it in action.
Turned out my self-diagnosis was wrong, and I was missing the two key symptoms for appendicitis. High white cell count in the blood sample, and high temperature.
What I had instead, (added with collapsing veins, moving pain, and red blood cells in a urine sample) and 6 X-Rays later, turned out to be a kidney stone shard, which had decided to move down the the tubes, but had gotten turned around, and ripped the tube on the way down and out.

If you can be bothered to think about that, you might approach some understanding of the levels of pain I'm talking about here.


posted by Manchild at 1:19 PM