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A blog for that outspoken and aggressive member of the Buffy Bulletin Board.
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   Saturday, July 19, 2003

I love Big Brother


thought Citizen Wilson, seconds before someone blew his head off.

I'll admit it. I'm a huge fan of Big Brother. Not the all seeing eye dictator, obviously. I'm talking about the TV show. It's been exported all around the world now, and I've spent WAY too much time following the antics of various housemates all over the globe.

Why do I love it so much? Well, it's because I find the cultural dynamics of each house to be absolutely fascinating. Perhaps it's something you can only appreciate when you watch the housemates from more than one house. Be a sort of "uber" Big Brother as it were. It probably goes without saying that most contestants who enter the house, do so with some sort of game plan (of which, denying the existance of a plan is a favoured tactic). But the thing is, when you get people drunk or when they just begin to get angry and frustrated and stir crazy, you can see a lot more of their true selves than they would ordinarliy admit to.

Granted, my country doesn't have a "Big Brother" show, so I don't really know what it's like to have my country represented by a bunch of assholes. (Oh, wait, that's our government's job.) And possibly the Scotish people wouldn't like to think they are represented by prudish hypocrite Cameron or that Irish people are represented by drunken thug Ray or whatever. But that's not what I'm getting at here. It's not about drawing conclusions of representative sampling from a few starstruck wannabes onto the population at large. It's about seeing what traits are praised by the citizens of that country. Which ones cause outrage. Which ones gain popularity. That can be very revealing indeed.

Of all the countries that I've seen however, only one man stands above it all as just the top-dog, coolest of the cool, and all round super nice guy. That is, of course, Jon Tickle of the UK House.

He's one of those people who's minds are always working, always ticking over on something new. He's honest and forthright, and scathing when dealing with hypocrites or the Tabloid Press. And when he was evicted from the house a few weeks back, the first words his brother said to him at the door were "You're the most famous man in Britain!" All things considered, (such as the amount of TV coverage he got upon eviction) it was amazing how he didn't let it swell his head.

Last week, the UK did something unprecedented and voted for an evicted housemate to go back into the house. In under two hours, more than 500,000 people voted Jon to go back in. That's more people than generally vote for Big Brother in an entire week. The man is a legend. And since the edited TV coverage never does him justice, here's a few of my favourite Jon moments.

Big Brother: Would housemates please ensure their microphones are properly positioned.

Jon: Shouldn't that be positioned properly, shouldn't the thingy come after the thingy?

Big Brother: Would Jon please come to the diary room.

Jon: Oh God, I'm being told off for correcting her grammar!

-------

Jon: I don't know if you noticed but all of us woke up with underwear on our heads.

-------
When giving Nominations to Big Brother in the Diary Room.

Jon: Have we spoken before? When I stop speaking it means I'm done. (further pause)
Jon: Now its your turn to speak

-------

Jon: Naughty tomato plant!
(You had to see it to believe it.)

-------
Big Brother: How has your day been, Jon?

Jon: Well, I just finished reading King Lear, and they're all dead. Apparently that happens a lot in Shakespeare.

-------
To Cameron, the religious nutter

Jon: If you want a really good laugh, read Revelations.

-------

Nush: Do you know why you've never met someone? Cos you can't love yourself...

Jon: I do love myself. To the Nth degree. I think I'm fantastic. I think that no-one else will ever match up. (pause) If I could marry myself, I would.

-------

Nush: Have you ever seen a lettuce like that in your life?

Jon: No. I thought I'd been around, but...

-------
Nush: Whats everyone thinking about at the moment?

Scott: I'm thinking whether Steph and Cameron are ever gonna get it on.

Nush: I was thinking that too! *laughs* What are you thinking about Jon?

Jon: I was thinking why 2/3rds of that salt is potassium chloride because surely.... **Nush & Scott erupt with laughter** ... surely potassium is a more reactive metal than sodium and therefore anything bad about sodium chloride must be doubly worse with potassium chloride.

Nush: Cool Jon, Cool.

The man is a legend.





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