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Right now I'm...

Listening to :
Nick Cave : Murder Ballads

Reading :
Defying Hitler

Occupation :

Weirdest Dream lately :
I dreamed I was on the "other side" when my Dad was passing. I spoke to him and made sure he was okay. Then I woke, and knew he was gone. 30 minutes later, we got the call from the hospital saying that his blood pressure had crashed in the last 30 minutes.

Currently working on :
A BTVS related story called "Long Goodbye" which deals with a member of the Watchers Council being vamped as part of an experiment.
Also completing my nanowrimo effort.



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A blog for that outspoken and aggressive member of the Buffy Bulletin Board.
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   Thursday, April 17, 2003

Today was a good day

All things considered, today was a good day. The weather held off, and continued to be unseasonably warm. This morning, I took a long walk to clear my head and think some things through. Then in the evening, I went down to the hospital to spend some time with my Dad.

It's a 90 minute trip to get to there, and another 90 minutes back. And all told, I was with him for around 5 hours or so. He's still very weak, and his voice is barely a cracked whisper. He's in the final stages of his radiation treatment; the one where they up the strength and narrow the focus of the beam.

We were able to hold a makeshift conversation. Me being patient, and him occasionally using a pen and paper when necessary. He's trying to eat some solid foods, not just to keep his weight up, but to convince the doctors that he doesn't need an operation to put tubes in his throat. He really doesn't want to go under the knife.

He can't go out in to the sunshine or sit by the lake which is just outside his ward. The skin around his neck and chest area is burned away and hence too sensitive. He has this yellow liquid gunk that he has to apply to his skin a few times a day, for protection.

So we sat and talked as best we could until the evening rolled around, as it always does, and we went into the television room to watch the sports. (Big game on tonight.) There is a selection of cable/satellite/digital channels in the room you see. No expense spaired.

I wasn't watching the game so much as I was watching him. My chair was a little behind his, and to the left. With my hand resting on his arm, I noticed how the tubes and needles (now removed) had bruised a lot of his skin. The mix and match colours of the yellow dye and purple bruises. His beard (more white than anything else) is to all intents and purposes, a goatee like my own. He's never had a beard in his entire life, and he hates it now. But they won't let a blade near his skin.

When the game was over, and we were preparing to go back into the ward, he mentioned that there was an excellent chance that he'd be coming home tomorrow. The doctors had told him he could come home for the Easter weekend. I was very happy to hear that.

I didn't tell him that this morning, I found out I had lost 6000 dollars. It didn't seem important.

Today was a good day.

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