Weirdest Dream lately :
I dreamed I was on the "other side" when my Dad was passing. I spoke to him and made sure he was okay. Then I woke, and knew he was gone. 30 minutes later, we got the call from the hospital saying that his blood pressure had crashed in the last 30 minutes.
Currently working on :
A BTVS related story called "Long Goodbye" which deals with a member of the Watchers Council being vamped as part of an experiment.
Also completing my nanowrimo effort.
A blog for that outspoken and aggressive member of the Buffy Bulletin Board.
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
Who the hell would eat a shrove today anyway?
This blog entry is being reconstructed from partially viable neurons, since BLOGGER decided to destroy the original instead of posting it.
My Dad got out of hospital today.
It's been a very rough couple of days since he was taken away in an ambulance last week. Most of those days have been spent travelling too and from the hospital, visiting him, and trying to keep his spirits up.
Over the last few days, I've been alternating between immense gratitude at what our health care system is capable of, and extreme annoyance when things do not go "perfect".
In hindsight, I can come down on the side of gratitude. We really do have a good system. Considering we have little or no insurance, the quality of care and speed of treatment was excellent. The bill will come to something like 250 US dollars (equivalent) and there's no rush on paying it.
If a consultant fails to turn up, (as happened once) I can understand. If an operation gets cancelled at the last minute, (as happened once) I can see why my reaction might have been to go ape-shit.
Truth is, they correctly judged that the operation was not necessary. So I can understand.
As I understand it, (though I am not a Doctor, nor do I play one on TV) there are some ulcer-like blisters around the tumor in his throat. These are what burst and bled last week. The hospital treated the bleeding and kept him in for observation and endoscopic examination. They wanted to make sure the blisters didn't bleed again. The also knew that his breathing tube is very narrow. If there had been any swelling, the throat could constrict, and they would have had to add a breathing tube to his neck.
That's what the operation would have been for on Monday. But they correctly decided that since there was no immediate danger to his breathing, and the operation would further delay the start of the chemo and radiation treatments, that the operation was unnecessary.
So he's out today, and home, sleeping in his own bed.
For the last few days, I've trying to distract myself both online and off, trying not to think about things. I knew things were beyond my control. I had done all I was able to do by getting the ambulance that night. All I could do after that, was keep his spirits up. And I couldn't do that if I was a depressed wreck.
But he's home now. And I suppose for the next few days, with the pressure off, I can relax and be a gibbering wreck.